Hello again all. It’s been awhile since we talked, and even longer since I have really done anything with this website.

I started this website for multiple reasons, though it was mainly because I had an opinion and I wanted to share it about the things I love, whether that be books, gaming, or kpop. That being said, like with any content creator online, the things they love – whether it be a blog, twitch stream, YouTube channel, or what have you- can become work and a chore.

I suffer from anxiety and depression. I’d like to say I am high functioning, but I feel like that’s an ablest term used to try and push those who suffer into some type of normalcy and erase all the work it truly takes to function “normally.”

The bottom line is that it becomes too much. Even when I am not having episodes of anxiety/depression in my everyday life, maintaining a blog can be a lot. The posts I get excited about writing loom over my head like a deadline I can’t escape. The content I want to create hangs around my neck like a weight I can’t shed. And yes, I understand that no one is forcing me to have a blog.

Right now I feel mentally okay. However, there are many periods of time – whether hours, days, weeks, months – where the amount of effort it takes simply to get out of bed is exhausting. Trying to find food becomes overwhelming. If it wasn’t for my animals who need attention, there would be days where I don’t think I would leave my bed at all.

That being said, I look back at my blog and it makes me happy. Seeing myself interact with commenters and engaging with other bloggers fills me with pride. I get excited just seeing one like on a post. I have met so many amazing people through my blog, including some of my favorite authors. Despite only posting 5 times in the past 3 years, my blog still receives regular traffic as well as multiple review requests a month from authors.

I want to get back into blogging. Writing is my passion, regardless of what I am writing. I hope to start posting regularly again, though I will try not to overwhelm myself or hold myself to such strict standards.

If you are reading this, thank you for sticking with me and I hope you will come back to visit soon.

One thought on “Transparency

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